bah this is irritating. i have different topics to post abt and to put it in one post is so disorganized... plus i don't know how to title the post. yet to put it in different posts but on the same day feels so contrived. idiosyncratic frustrations yes but still... considering that i have hardly any freedom in army, not having the smallest of things going the way i want at home is ridiculously maddening.
during field camp this week, i fell aslp while our pc was talking. for the briefest of moments! very unlucky -.- i got caught and was punished by being made the lps for the rest of the field camp (half a day). and the last event happened to be casualty evac. so ok one casualty down. not bad still can think a bit clearly... immediately do the initial necessary stuff (faintZ if i reveal the exact steps think i'll get charged with breach of security~) tbut super a lot of ppl so damn hard to organize. everyone keep making noise some more cos got to talk to organize de ma. so pc declare another casualty -.- then wa super duper chaotic. more and more chaos in the end total 4 casualties. super messy... i was sooooo lost and disoriented omg never experience this kind of chaos before. usually i can operate on at least 2 levels, if not more... the first level is basic la focusing on what i'm doing. the next is reflecting on what i'm focusing on. then there is being aware that u're doing reflection. but that's when i'm relaxed and being hyperintuitive. but always! at least 2! this time... sia la have no wits at all step back and reflect on my actions. all i could think abt was how to organize everyone. there were quite a few instances when i turned back and walked a few steps, and then turned forward and walk a few steps again, and then turn back and forth again without knowing what to do at all. lolz imaginining myself doing that always make me feel like laughing... such a ridiculous scene. but seriously, at that moment, i lost all ability to introspect... so animalistic.
i always thought i'd be able to step back and analyze no matter how much stress i was under...confident to the point of arrogance in fact. but this... was a truly humbling experience. gtg out meeting posef for movie~ watching movies nowadays give me a sense of peace. lolz my bro calls it 'escapism'. oh well guess it's better than materialism~ but faintZ i am like... indulging in both~ and gluttony (cos i know that no matter how unhealthy the food is, it'll still be burned out by the training~), sloth. army illuminates so many paths to hedonism~
Name: Foo Guo Zhong Melvyn
Age: 19+
Affiliations: MSHS (Pri), Rosyth, RI, RJC, SFX (LoG)
Bday: 14th Nov
Email: mel_protoss@hotmail.com
bah this is irritating. i have different topics to post abt and to put it in one post is so disorganized... plus i don't know how to title the post. yet to put it in different posts but on the same day feels so contrived. idiosyncratic frustrations yes but still... considering that i have hardly any freedom in army, not having the smallest of things going the way i want at home is ridiculously maddening.
during field camp this week, i fell aslp while our pc was talking. for the briefest of moments! very unlucky -.- i got caught and was punished by being made the lps for the rest of the field camp (half a day). and the last event happened to be casualty evac. so ok one casualty down. not bad still can think a bit clearly... immediately do the initial necessary stuff (faintZ if i reveal the exact steps think i'll get charged with breach of security~) tbut super a lot of ppl so damn hard to organize. everyone keep making noise some more cos got to talk to organize de ma. so pc declare another casualty -.- then wa super duper chaotic. more and more chaos in the end total 4 casualties. super messy... i was sooooo lost and disoriented omg never experience this kind of chaos before. usually i can operate on at least 2 levels, if not more... the first level is basic la focusing on what i'm doing. the next is reflecting on what i'm focusing on. then there is being aware that u're doing reflection. but that's when i'm relaxed and being hyperintuitive. but always! at least 2! this time... sia la have no wits at all step back and reflect on my actions. all i could think abt was how to organize everyone. there were quite a few instances when i turned back and walked a few steps, and then turned forward and walk a few steps again, and then turn back and forth again without knowing what to do at all. lolz imaginining myself doing that always make me feel like laughing... such a ridiculous scene. but seriously, at that moment, i lost all ability to introspect... so animalistic.
i always thought i'd be able to step back and analyze no matter how much stress i was under...confident to the point of arrogance in fact. but this... was a truly humbling experience. gtg out meeting posef for movie~ watching movies nowadays give me a sense of peace. lolz my bro calls it 'escapism'. oh well guess it's better than materialism~ but faintZ i am like... indulging in both~ and gluttony (cos i know that no matter how unhealthy the food is, it'll still be burned out by the training~), sloth. army illuminates so many paths to hedonism~